Mom Guilt: All women MUST read this! FEAR NO MORE!
byJaimee Hall
May 5, 2021
Modern Day Mommy
Mom Guilt

If you are a mom or not, all women MUST read this!

One huge issuing plaguing women today: GUILT and FEAR!!! I hope this blog will encourage you to live your life differently and embrace FREEDOM! #embracesimilarities #dontletdifferencesdivide #fearnomore

Moms that works outside the home:

1.      My kids have an absentee mom at class parties or on field trips. I fear they will grow up without memories of me. My family watched some old home videos the other day of first crawls, steps, bites of food and so on. My heart sunk as I was not in most of the videos or even around. When you work outside the home, it is true you make sacrifices. Guilt keeps me from enjoying the family moments I do have. It robs me of embracing those special memories created. Fear of the future and disappointment in myself can make me distant from my kids emotionally even when I am physically with them. 

2.      Other women are judging me because I drop off my kids at daycare at 7am and pick them up at 6pm because of my work schedule. I feel eye rolls as I bring my store-bought cookies for the bake sale and I’m thrilled I was even able to be there. When my mom or nanny volunteer for the school Valentine’s party, they hear the snickers from across the classroom and judgement suggesting its a shame my kids have an absentee mother.

3.      Dinner is never on the table early or by my own hands. I feel bad picking up take out or fast food. Women’s glares and comments from another generation are seething to my soul upon hearing that we eat at 7pm. Frozen pizzas again or Dino nuggets with applesauce out of a pouch brings no objection from our kids, but my own mind tells me I am insufficient as I pre-heat the oven once again and freezer dive out of desperation. 

4.      My marriage suffers as I attempt to give all I have left to my kids since my professional life is so draining. I love my spouse and they love me, but a lot of days we don’t like each other very much. As the stress of life weighs on our minds, we find ourselves passing each other like ships in the night. The guilt of seeing us drifting apart, but not having the energy to do much about it, brings tension to my heart and silence to my mouth when my good intentions of sharing kind or loving words get lost in the busyness of life.

Moms that works inside the home:

1.      My kids have an absentee mom as I try to get the laundry done, keep up with the house and keep everyone clean and fed. I fear they will grow up without memories of my spouse or me playing with them as the pressures of life responsibilities keep us from engaging with them meaningfully. As I watched my kids play video games and watch You Tube kids, my heart hurts that I have allowed our life to come to this. I continue to wash the dishes and fold laundry and make lunches for the next day because if I don’t do it now it will mean another late night or early morning to keep the trains running on time. When you work inside the home, it is true you make sacrifices. Guilt keeps me from enjoying the family moments I do have. It robs me of embracing those special memories created. Fear of the future and disappointment in myself can make me distant from my kids emotionally even when I am physically with them. 

2.      Other women are judging me because I frequently wear casual clothes since my husband’s job allows me to stay home with my kids, but we don’t have the extra income for much else. I feel eye rolls from the “working moms” as I bring my homemade cookies for the bake sale since we can’t afford store bought luxuries. When I volunteer for the school Valentine’s party, I hear the snickers from across the classroom and judgement suggesting my kids are “spoiled” from having a stay at home mom and are sheltered and uncultured from lack of exposure to things outside the home.

3.      Dinner is never on the table early or by my own hands. I feel bad picking up take out or fast food when we have “been home all day” while my spouse works outside the home. Women’s glares and comments from another generation are seething to my soul upon hearing that we eat at 7pm. Frozen pizzas again or Dino nuggets with applesauce out of a pouch brings no objection from our kids, but my own mind tells us I am insufficient as we pre-heat the oven once again and freezer dive out of desperation. My own mind tells me I could have found time in the day to make a home cooked meal and yet I didn’t.

4.      My marriage suffers as I attempt to give all I have left to my kids since our home life is so draining. I love my spouse and they love me, but a lot of days we don’t like each other very much. As the stress of life weighs on our minds, we find ourselves passing each other like ships in the night. The guilt of seeing us drifting apart, but not having the energy to do much about it, brings tension to my heart and silence to my mouth when my good intentions of sharing kind or loving words get lost in the busyness of life.

Women who are not physical moms:

1.      Society says I’m a worthless member of society since I’m not a mom as I attempt to add to this same society in a positive way and prove them wrong. I fear I will never be accepted as the pressures of life responsibilities keep me from engaging in life meaningfully. As I watch my friends with kids create memories and laud them on social media, I sometimes feel an emptiness and unworthiness for wanting meaningful memories, but not wanting children to get them. Or I have tried and failed to have children or that isn’t an opportunity for me in my situation. I continue to wash the dishes and fold laundry and make my lunch for the next day because if I don’t do it now it will mean another late night or early morning to keep the trains running on time. When you work and don’t have children, it is true you make sacrifices. Guilt keeps me from enjoying the joyful life moments I do have. It robs me of embracing those special memories created. Fear of the future and disappointment in myself can make me distant from others emotionally even when I am physically with them. 

2.      Other women are judging me because I don’t have children. I feel eye rolls from the “working moms” and “stay at home moms” as I work on my laptop in the park. They wonder what my story is and why am I in the park if I have no children? When I volunteer for a local non-profit, I hear the snickers from across the room of insincere sympathy that I haven’t been able to have kids or judgement suggesting I’m selfish because I don’t want them.

3.      Dinner is never on the table early or by my own hands. I feel bad picking up take out or fast food when I am single or don’t have children because what is my excuse? Women’s glares and comments from another generation are seething to my soul upon hearing that I eat at 7pm. Frozen pizzas again or heating up Chinese left overs brings no objection from my spouse or me, but my own mind tells me I am insufficient as I pre-heat the oven once again and freezer dive out of desperation. My own mind tells me I could have found time in the day to make a home cooked meal and yet I didn’t.

4.      My marriage suffers as I attempt to fill the emptiness of wanting children and not being able to have them or choosing to not have them because we just don’t have the desire for kids. I love my spouse and they love me, but a lot of days we don’t like each other very much. As the stress of life weighs on our minds, we find ourselves passing each other like ships in the night. The guilt of seeing us drifting apart, but not having the energy to do much about it, brings tension to my heart and silence to my mouth when my good intentions of sharing kind or loving words get lost in the busyness of life.

Maybe we are more alike than we realize? Where does guilt and fear come from? Society, our spouse, our kids, our family or our own mind?

ACCEPTANCE of my life situation, RESPONDING to my family and friends with fierce devotion and ENGAGING in the moments I have with those closest to me will bring FREEDOM and joy to my life instead of being trapped in the mental shackles of guilt and fear.

Women, let’s stop judging each other and start talking. Let’s embrace each other and realize our similarities instead of allowing our differences to divide us. Let’s FEAR NO MORE!! #embracesimilarities #dontletdifferencesdivide #fearnomore

Freedom-Engagement-Acceptance-Response NO MORE = JOY!

I would love to hear your lessons learned through your life journey. Thank you for engaging with me in meaningful discussion!

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