Finding Beauty through Ugliness!
byJaimee Hall
June 24, 2021
Modern Day Mommy

My toddler absolutely LOVES giving me hand-picked vegetation. Dandelions, Oxalis, White Clover, Creeping Charlie, Dayflower and More. Not sure what these are? They are all weeds and you can check them all out through this overview slideshow on Better Homes and Gardens!

Every time we leave the house to get in the car, she hand-picks something that she sees as beautiful from the earth and delivers it to me with the biggest smile and a “for you mama!”. Be still my heart! Also consistent with this gift delivery, comes the laughter and comments from my 10-year-old daughter, Quinn, saying “Eden, those are just weeds!” I whispered to Quinn that Eden finds these as beautiful and her wanting to share that beauty with me is what matters. I know most in the world would see this gift as a weed or undesirable. 

How often do we do this to ourselves and others? When a set of eyes sees beauty that we don’t see, we criticize and can sometimes get nasty. “How did she end up with him? He just isn’t that good looking, and she is gorgeous!” As young people, and even older people, we criticize others for the brands they wear or where they get their groceries. We buy products with perfect packaging. We throw out perfectly fine clothing and accessories because they are out of style. We die our hair every 6-8 weeks to keep the grays away. We scrunch our nose and roll our eyes when the homeless woman comes too close to us on the sidewalk. We call out the bitch boss and snobby supervisor without seeing their pain.

Last week was a hard week for me professionally. Yes, that happens. Even though most companies want to look shiny on social media, they are of course made up of people…imperfect people. We made some mistakes on client work. We had some team members feeling under-appreciated and the stress of all of it started to take a toll. It was an ugly week. Unhappy team members lead to disengaged people which leads to a bad work product which leads to unhappy clients and ultimately turns into a stressed CEO. In this midst of this week, my car died…my brand-new car to me of 6 days. Ugh! There are much harder things in life, but with a packed schedule I was struggling to see how I was going to make it all work. 

Here is how it all worked: my Ex loves our kids as much as me and cares about me and their well-being. He was able to bring them to me from school and take them to school the next day on my days with them. Shout out for positive co-parenting!!!! I was able to walk to my office because I live so close. My lunch meeting just happen to cancel allowing me to meet the tow truck person to jump my car. Shout out to Joe at Cliff’s Towing Service who was patient and funny and creative through this frustrating process. BMW of West St. Louis rolled out the red carpet for me to get my battery replaced quickly and take care of everything. I got out of there just in time to get home and take a shower before an important work event. 

My accounting team rallied together and embraced a new and positive mindset. My accounting manager worked her ass off, held the team together and I was able to share with the team directly a heart-felt apology for decisions that created some of our stress. We had several great client calls that followed in the week reassuring me that we are on track. My accounting team sent me a nice email with all of the ways they appreciate me as an exercise in gratitude which of course made me cry tears of joy.

There is ugliness all around us. I have been legally bullied and threatened to be sued multiple times. I have been a total bitch of a boss and have made bad professional and personal decisions. There have been times where I have been a mean girl, criticizing someone around me. We have a certain amount of ugly and beauty lurking in our own souls right below the surface of what we allow others to see.

When I look at these weeds, I see my daughter’s smile and desire to bring a smile to my face. I see through her eyes in how she sees this precious gift she got for me. When we look into the eyes of our terrible supervisor, can we see their brokenness and their potentially good intent? When someone has wronged us, can we find the best in the situation and not allow bitterness to rot our own spirit? When faced with extreme criticism, can we dare ourselves to look in the mirror and truly find our own beauty from within? Perspective has so much power over our abilities to achieve our purpose in life. Embrace the positive perspective my friends! 

2 Comments

  1. Ellie Brown

    Wow, Jaimee. I’m almost speechless. Powerful. Challenging. Vulnerable. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
    • Jaimee Hall

      Thank you thank you for your incredibly kind words!!!

      Reply

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